Blogtacular.

Error 37: Evil Returns

I figured it was about time I wrote something about Diablo 3, considering it’s all I’ve done for the past few days (aside from getting my ass whooped on Football Manager - BSP is hard).

Being the massive Blizzard-fag that I am, I pre-purchased the game last Sunday night for £45, and had it downloaded and ready before launch. This was only after about 36 hours of screwing around.

• First of all, I downloaded the enUS client instead of the enGB client. This is my fault more than anything, but you’d think Battle.net would direct you to the right client for your account, instead of just pasting a massive ‘DOWNLOAD’ button.
• This crashed, of course, setting me back around 4 hours of downloading (did I mention the downloader was ridiculously slow?).
• Once this had downloaded, I had realized my error and set the enGB client downloading.
• I eventually figured out that turning ‘P2P’ off in the downloader set it going at full speed, so it finished sometime early Monday. 

So, I had the client (finally), installed it at the unlock time (4pm GMT) and waited for the 11pm launch. In case you live under a rock, the Diablo 3 launch did not go well (so badly, that EVE Online actually made fun of this with one of their login messages).

I was continually connecting and re-connecting for about 2 hours before I even reached the character select screen. I actually started copying and pasting my password. I learned to hate the number ‘37’. Around 1:30am, I finally got online and managed to play for a couple of hours before going to bed.

Fast-forward a few days, I’ve now completed the game on Normal with a level 32 Monk.

Wow. I love this game. It’s just a rehash, a copy, a refinement of previous Diablo games - and that’s why it’s so damn good. The same gameplay is there, familiar characters, the loot system is still motivating - the whole atmosphere of the game is just Diablo. If you loved Diablo 1 & 2, you’ll love Diablo 3.

Of course, there are a few changes, such as the addition of Blacksmithing/Jeweler NPCs that you can create better equipment with, or the way you choose which skills you have ‘loaded’, rather than a talent tree. Many people have blasted the changes, but personally I think it makes it more fun. The lack of skill-trees for example - yes, it was fun leveling up that way and gave you some vision of progress, but the new system (think Guild Wars 1) allows you to mess around with all the different available skills to try and find a build that suits you, instead of leveling up with a rigid build that you had to stick to or be gimped. The storyline is pretty predictable, but who buys a Diablo game for the storyline? 

I’ve just started replaying it on Nightmare, and already it’s a different game. I think this’ll be a game that stays around for a while.

Recommendation: Buy the shit out of this.

Last one, I swear…

Right, so I figured that this Kony thing would pretty much be over now (on my blog anyway), but I found something about it that just infuriated me.

This.

This is just fucking disgusting. Who tags a memorial for a group of dead innocents? I’m aware this memorial is for the Boston Massacre and I live in the UK but it doesn’t matter what memorial it is. It’s like that guy who pissed on the war memorial during Carnage that one time.

Utter lack of respect for anyone, so whoever did this can go fuck themselves.

Kingdoms of Amalur: The Reckoning

So on a spur-of-the-moment thing, I bought Kingdoms of Amalur: The Reckoning. I didn’t really read up on this much beforehand, only seeing that IGN gave it 4/5, and various other reviews were of a similar level. I remember reading ages ago that this game was a prequel to an MMO in development since 2006, so I figured I’d give it a try.

The first thing that hit me was the similarity to the first Fable game - the camera, the movement, the combat all reeks of Fable (which is not a bad thing, to be honest). You are put through a cutscene that sets the scene, which cuts to the create-a-character screen. You pick from four races (two human, two elves) which all have different bonuses, which at this point is very confusing as you have no idea what these bonuses do or how good they are.

The class system is fun and responsive in the way that you aren’t stuck to one ‘archetype’ ie warrior, rogue, mage. You can spread the points around and your character doesn’t feel gimped - it’s all a matter of preference. You also unlock ‘destinies’ which can give you a bonus - each destiny has a prerequisite of a certain amount of points in certain trees, so you could call this a ‘class’. This is swap-able at any time and you are able to reset your points for a fee in gold. Overall, I find it very fun and gives me a chance to experiment with different things.

The combat is fun - much like Fable, it requires timing and the use of abilities at the right moment. You can also make your own combos - ie flicking a monster in the air with your sword and keeping it there with arrows, spells etc. It’s good fun and each fight is different. I imagine it can only get better when you get more abilities to play around with. There is one aspect, called Reckoning mode, which slows down time and allows you to do more damage, destroying pretty much anything you come across with ease. This is activated by killing monsters and performing combos with fill up your Reckoning meter. 

The storyline is a little bit confusing at first, throwing so many different made-up words at you, but you get the hang of it. I haven’t progressed very far yet, but I am intrigued by it so I suppose that’s a bonus.

Finally, the graphics are nothing to balk at either, with colorful landscapes and creative looking monsters - it really gives the world a fantasy feel and it’s something good to look at. Although the areas themselves have the usual limits (tall walls etc), they are really brought to life by the graphics.

Overall, I’d give it a 7 or maybe 8 - it’s a fun game with intuitive controls and a decent combat system, with (so far) an interesting storyline. The reason it is not a ten is down to the fact it is nothing new to the genre - just a rehash of all the good bits of the past few good RPGs that have come out. Of course, this isn’t a bad thing, it’s just nothing creative.

I’d definitely say play it, though.

Houston, I have a problem

I really need to find that one MMO that just stays with you, the way EQ1 did, or Asheron’s Call, to an extent. I’m now on my 3rd MMO (2nd resub) of the year, EVE Online.

I’m not saying Warcraft, Star Wars and EVE are all bad games, I just seem to get bored easily and as soon as I see something updated that I like the sound of in an MMO I used to play, I resubscribe. I must be an MMO dev’s dream.

Anyhoo, I resubscribed to EVE Online with a mate of mine I’ve known for years. We used to play together but I moved off to Uni, he has a job, etc etc. We decided to resubscribe and tbh we’ve been doing pretty well so far (in case you don’t know much about it, EVE forgoes levelling like the traditional MMO and instead you train skills over real-time. The focus is more about making money than it is making the perfect build to wtfpwn end-game bosses). I’ve come across a blog - ran by an extremely nice guy, I might add - that explains a game aspect I’ve been wanting to do for quite a while - trading.

The idea, generally, is buy low and sell high - somehow I’ve managed to make over 70 million credits (ISK, for you EVE nerds), so I’ve taken to it quite well. Over the past few days, we’ve spent a lot of hours playing and talking over Skype, so I think £12 was a good investment for another month of spacefaring.

If any EVE player is interested, here is the blog (http://420enterprises.weebly.com/training-blog.html) - it details how this person went from 5,000 ISK to over a billion in just six weeks.

Hypocritogasm!

Hey, it’s that day that we do all that stuff about that guy that everyone doesn’t give two fucks about any more.

Aren’t people amazing?

Silly Hipster, That’s Not For You!

People who own ridiculously huge black-rimmed glasses should not be allowed near cameras and/or mirrors.

The Kony Epidemic

To summarise this entire rant, here is the status I posted on facebook:

“Okay, so this Kony thing - yeah it’s bad and I do agree with what those Invisible Children guys or whoever are trying to do, but seriously, what is with all the people jumping down other people’s throats all of a sudden? You’ve heard about this in the past couple days, stop acting so self-righteous like it was your f*cking idea.”

So, I’m sure everyone is aware of this Joseph Kony guy now - makes kids into soliders, kills people, rape etc etc. Now before I get any death threats for not being all humanitarian, he is doing wrong. He’s done/doing some very awful things and deserves to be caught and hanged from his testicles for all I care.

However, this post is not about that.

This post is about the absolute twats who use this whole situation to make themselves feel better than other people. I’ve seen many a status today berating other people for ‘not paying attention’ or ‘not giving a fuck’ about this whole situation - bear in mind, these are the people that only heard about this a couple days ago anyway.

How do they possibly have a right to bitch about other people when they themselves knew fuck all about this subject to begin with?

It just pisses me off how some people can be all high and mighty about a subject that they really have no fucking idea about, and that didn’t matter to them literally two days ago.

Who made these twats the enforcers of humanity?

Morons.

Holy Vlogging, Batman!

In complete contrast to my last post, here is a curse-word-free post!

My flatmate has recently started a ‘Vlog’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws97QwNZSxg&feature=youtu.be - hope you’re happy at my selfless promotion |edit: as my flatmate not-so-generously pointed out, this is apparently contradicting my last post - I’m excusing myself due to it not being something I would force on even Hitler. Good day sir.), which (albeit slightly bad quality) is a good idea. I’ve always wanted to make a proper video channel - even when I was younger, the kid next door and I used to make silly/funny/absolutely useless videos, we just never uploaded them.

The question is, what the hell (edit: oops.) heck do you make a video about that’ll at least get a few views? Do you make a video to make money, or do you do it just to entertain people? Do you do it because you’re bored? What should the topic be?

I’d love to make one, even a series, but I really have no clue where to begin. Ideas?

Ten Things I Hate About Tumblr

So once again the blog lies forgotten. I figure since I’m up early-ish, and got nothing to do, I’d write something. And what better to write than a bitchy post.

Before I start, I do enjoy Tumblr, it’s just some things piss me (and probably a lot of others) off. So, in no particular order, here is a list of things I hate about Tumblr:

1) Content Thieves - People who reblog something and paste their blog name/address all over it. It’s not yours, so don’t act like it is, you unoriginal tw*ts. (-edit: Yes, I am aware that 9gag is worse for this)

2) Girls Who Think They’re Models - You know the type, those girls who just blog about themselves, and pictures of themselves. Most of the time, they’re not even hot or look like this:

3) Girls Who Tag Said Pictures as ‘Beautiful’ or Similar - Related to #2, this is a new level of douchebaggery, involving what could only be described as the ‘bane of social acceptability’.

4) Memetards - This covers a broad range of people - from those who use memes and nothing but memes, to those who use them incorrectly, or even those ‘special’ people who try to create their own - you don’t make a meme, they just happen.

5) The Words ‘Swag’ and ‘Dope’ - I don’t even know where to start with this one. Sure, I wouldn’t mind if people used this once every so often, but on every fucking post? Who are you? Cher Lloyd? 

6) Picture/Video Linkers - This is just annoying more than anything. Posting a link to a picture/video is just sheer laziness when there is a damn embed button on the post creator.

7) ‘I’m Too Fat’ Blogs - Really? You want to post about your sheer enormity and expect to not get flamed? The worst part is the way they insist on bitching about skinnier girls. There is so much wrong with this concept - so much, in fact, that I doubt even your jolly ol’ belly can hold all the wrong.

8) ‘Reblog this if…’ - Are you latched up to a machine that will rip off your genitalia if it doesn’t get a certain amount of reblogs? Or are you just letting out a desperate cry for attention? Some of the reasons for reblogging said twat’s post are just ridiculous as well. We all know one. omg reblog me if u do guiz!1

9) ‘I Got Bored So…’ - I cringe every time I see this. Everyone knows/has seen at least one of these flannels about. Do you really have nothing better to do? The one example I can distinctly remember is a user finding a pen in their bathroom, so they decide to draw all over their own face and post it on Tumblr. Why the fuck not? Let’s just let the internet really see what a crazy twat I am!

10) The Way People Latch on to Things - This really bugs me. The way that people see something ‘trending’ (for lack of a better word, sorry Twitter/WWE), for example this whole Sherlock on Omegle thing, or those ridiculous ponies, and decide to hop on the fagwagon. Yeah, it was quite funny the first time round, and maybe the second. But when every other post for the rest of the day is the same thing, it gets a bit stale, don’t you think?

In conclusion, people are retarded.